Part of my initial Montessori parenting journey involved scour Pinterest, pinning and planning out skill-building activities that would keep my twin babies engaged. I didn’t want to squander a moment, wanting to invest fully in supporting their development in any way I could. I quickly found myself overwhelmed. As a mother of twins who primarily solo parented while my husband worked long hours away from home, I was strapped for time and energy. Most supplies I didn’t have on hand, necessitating a trip to the store, and setup times took way longer in practice than they made it seem in their blog posts.
Once the initial panic of “not doing enough” for my twins subside, along with a greater freedom from no longer breastfeeding, I was able to breathe again. As my children’s personalities took shape, I could experience in real time that supporting their developmental journey need not be complicated to be impactful. Instead of chasing big projects, I started focusing on simple, everyday moments that show my twins they are loved.
Here are 10 things to do with twin toddlers every day that only require your attention and the trust that what you’re doing is enough:
1. Get Out of the House Every Day
The communal space in our home is pretty tight. We invested in a Pikler triangle, arch, and ramp to support gross motor skill development, but they take up nearly all the floor space in the living room. Never mind that, at just two years old, the twins are already tall enough to reach everything on the kitchen counters—and help themselves to whatever’s in the sink.
Sometimes I second-guess whether it would just be easier staying home, rather than the hour long production of getting out the door with twins…. and then one (or both) of the twins remind me why getting out of the house is a must. Not just for their benefit, but for our sanity too. It’s an essential part of our daily twin toddler routine, and the boys are generally pretty excited for whatever destination we have planned.
I take them everywhere: grocery stores, haircuts, thrifting, medical appointments or just long, aimless walks around the neighbourhood. I distinguish getting out of the house from playing outside. Playing in the yard or playground is naturally more physical, and still requires me to be tuned into their actions to make sure they are safe. But getting out is different.
Simply walking or driving to our destination is a much more restful mental reset than sitting at home. The twins are safely secured in their stroller, wagon or car seat, and typically take in their changing surrounding quietly. It feels like an opportunity for quiet reflection from all of us. I can let my mind wander, quietly taking in the sounds and sights of the world around me while traveling from point A to B.
Sometimes we all need a change of scenery—and sometimes they’re just along for the ride.
2. Eat Meals Together
In our house, breakfast is surprisingly our most formal meal. Everyone sits at the table, eating the same meal at the same time. Sometimes we have music playing, but it’s primarily an unplugged experience where we enjoy each other’s company and talk about our plans for the day. While the twins are very good eaters, there’s always a little silliness. All it takes is one to get inspired, and the other is quick to copy for a laugh. We’ve learned to anticipate this dynamic and gently redirect the second twin before the feedback loop turns breakfast into a write-off.
Sitting down together gives us a chance to model calm, consistent expectations around meals. That’s the goal, anyway, and we take toddler mealtime day by day.
Simply eating the same meals together has made them incredibly adventurous and open-minded about trying all kinds of food—pickles, cottage cheese, hot mustard, fish, and all sorts of vegetables. Basically, if it’s on our plates, they want a bite. One of the joys of twins eating together is how eager they are to try what the other twin is enjoying. Even if one turns up their nose at something at first, they’ll often circle back for another bite if their sibling is enthusiastically chowing down.
Mealtimes used to be much more stressful, especially back when the twins were nonverbal. Dinnertime in particular could spiral quickly. The same meal that was a smash hit one night might go almost untouched the next. Over time, we got better at reading their cues—evaluating how active they’d been, whether they were overtired, or if a growth spurt was making them extra hungry. At just over two years old, there’s hardly any mess on the floor anymore, but food still finds its way into their hair with surprising regularity.
3. Read Aloud Every Day
I used to be a prolific reader as a child and through my young adult years. I’ve always wanted to foster a similar love of reading in my children. We prioritize reading to toddlers daily as part of our family rhythm. They have two collections of books: a low, accessible shelf filled with mostly softcover books for independent exploration, and a shelf of board books that we read together with adult guidance.
Days very between only a short stake of books, to well over 20 short stories if I have the endurance. The twins have a few best loved stories completely memorized, like Red Hat, Blue Hat (The Oopse Book). While many titles are year-round staples, I regularly rotate in seasonal books to help them connect what they’re reading with what is currently happening in the world around them. I include lots of books with realistic photo illustrations of nature and people, following the principles behind Montessori toddler books— reality-based, and rich in language.
Most importantly, reading together is a daily habit we prioritize. Sometimes I have to cut the session short when their focus drifts or they become disrespectful with the books. Although I’ve read to my twins nearly every day since birth, the journey has required great patience and realistic expectations. The truth is, it’s much more challenging to model and redirect four tiny, curious hands in your lap than just two.
4. A touch of Music
I will preface this with the disclosure that we are not a musical family. We don’t play any musical instruments, and I would die of embarrassment if anyone other than our children heard me sing.
I have been singing with my twins since birth—personalized variations on Hush Little Baby, Rain Rain Go Away, and Baa Baa Black Sheep. Their favourite, by far, is You Are My Sunshine, with “sunshine” replaced by each of their names. My twins are quite busy, and this is a no-fail way to rein in their attention and have them sit quietly with me to enjoy a bonding song. Lately, they fancy songs about counting and the alphabet. Twin B belts out the alphabet whenever possible.
The twins have attended Montessori music time programs, and we continue the learning with child-sized instruments at home. It’s loud, obviously, but that hasn’t stopped us from embracing music activities for toddlers as a daily part of our rhythm. We’re gently learning how to repeat rhythms, and how to be creative with sound without mishandling. How to use instruments with care and control. This approach prolongs the fun rather than stifles it. And some days we pause and put away the musical instruments faster than others.
5. Foster Pockets of Quiet Time
The irony of typing this out after a particularly challenging day with the twins is not lost on me. I don’t intend to misconstrue our lives as blissful or sterile. Our twins are high energy, fearless, and intensely curious. No sugar-coating that. But they are not destructive. Nor are they constantly chaotic, although it can feel like that when you are in the thick of it.
Preserving those precious, fleeting moments of rest or quiet is something I fiercely protect. In the Montessori approach, there is a deep respect for the child’s ability to focus when given the right environment. Even in the toddler years, children will enter states of deep concentration as they interact with their environment. These moments may arise when turning pages in a book, stacking blocks, or studying how a object responds on an uneven surface. This is when I keep quiet and keep my distance, allowing them to work uninterrupted. Even if this means delaying a meal I was about to call them to, or pausing some other activity I was setting up for.
Some days these moments are more fragile than others. Their curious sibling is most often the saboteur. I take note and cherish those especially rare moments when both twins are locked in quiet independent play simultaneously. When I see those little brows furrow in focus, tongues peeking out the side for extra concentration, I am filled with joy. Calm and quiet may not embody the bulk of our everyday, but the pockets of time when they do is worth silent celebration.
6. Mastering Independent Self-Care
There are lots of little opportunities each day for your toddlers to participate in their own self care. Whether it’s putting on and fastening their shoes, brushing their teeth, washing hands, toileting, or being mindful of their belongings, their day is littered with chances to practice independent self-care.
Our toddlers have a fierce independence streak, and a flair for wanting to do everything at maximum effort. They would rather climb the vanity to turn on the tap themselves for hand washing, rather than using the stool or extender provided. I passed on installing a child-sized sink or grooming shelf for the same reason—they want to use the adult versions. The same goes for toileting; they prefer the adult toilet over any child-sized alternative.
Whenever possible, we encourage them to clean up after themselves—wiping up spills, putting away toys, and helping hang up their clothes. Yes, the process is so much slower, but you are investing in the habit. Since creating a capsule wardrobe, laundry and independent dressing has become much more manageable. When out and about, they are responsible for keeping track of their possessions, such as their hat, shoes or ball at the park.
It’s participation, not perfection. Some days they fain helplessness for a laugh, and then their twin has to get in on the fun. When this happens, I try to slow everything down and give them space for silliness before they are ready to complete the task themselves.
Like everything on this list, our day-to-day mileage varies.
7. Carve out One-on-One Time
A friend of mine once joked, “You’re a first-time mom for approximately five minutes with twins.” Every moments of their existence from conception to birth is shared with their twin, and of course their mother. They haven’t known a life as singletons with exclusive access to their parent’s care. It is on extremely rear occasions, when my husband is available, that one twin will go out with him while the other stays with me. Still, I strive to find moments in our day for one-on-one time with each of my children- even when we all are occupying the same general space.
This may be as simple as reading a story with just one twin while the other is occupied elsewhere. Or staying a bit longer to finishing a meal at the table with the child still eating. Sometimes I’ll be working on a puzzle or activity with one, and the other will curiously investigate what Mommy and their sibling are up to. I’ll try to gently redirect them back to what they were doing before, or invite them to try something new while we finish up. Sometimes that one-on-one moment holds, and other times it transforms into a new game with new players.
I suspect carving out one-on-one time will naturally become easier as they get older an their interests diverge. Right now I just focus on keeping an open mind of oppertunities as they present, and treasuring those moments, however brief.
8. Spend Time Outdoors
To modify a well-known Scandinavian proverb: “There’s no such thing as bad weather—only opportunities to explore the world as it is, if dressed correctly.” As Canadians, there are precious few ideal days to spend outdoors. When you have twin toddlers, waiting around for perfect weather is a luxury we do not have.
My twins go outside nearly every day, in all kinds of weather. Children are remarkably resilient, and they naturally find wonder in the outdoors, no matter the forecast. In fact, my boys are more likely to take a greater interest in experiencing undesirable conditions. Rainy days bring deep puddles to splash in. Snow becomes something to taste, crunch, and collapse into. On hot summer afternoons, they instinctively find stillness in the shade.
This summer, I created a Sensory Garden. A space filled with non-toxic, child-friendly plants they can touch, smell, and, of course, taste. I had imagined weeding might be a popular task, getting to rip and pull while playing in the dirt. It should be no surprise that watering if far and above the most popular chore.
The boys spend so much time playing outside in summer and fall, that toy ration is essentially abandoned. Nature provides its one shelf rotation, offering something new to discover each day.
9. Prioritize Decompression Time
Raising twins comes with an incredible amount of prep and cleanup. Most days, I’m bouncing from one task to the next, trying to stay just ahead of the chaos and keep some sense of order. Twin moms develop a sixth sense. We can spot a potential meltdown or mess from a mile away. I wouldn’t trade being a twin mom for anything, but the day-to-day is undeniably exhausting. Now more so with a third little one crawling about.
When the twins are finally asleep, I find myself sinking into the silence. I think every twin parent lets out a well earned sigh after tuck in time. This is my decompression time. I put everything on pause, including my phone, to embrace the stillness.
I don’t believe self-care needs to be packaged or purchased to be meaningful. Sometimes it’s as simple as finishing a hot drink while it’s still warm or stretching out the tension I’ve carried all day. In those quiet moments, I often reflect on what felt right, what I might do differently tomorrow, and how much I’ve grown alongside my children.
10. Trust the Simplicity
If you’re raising twins, it’s easy to feel like you’re not enough. You might find yourself doom-scrolling through twin parenting and Montessori influencer pages, comparing all the carefully staged photos to your lived reality. It’s a very human response to feel like their children have it better than yours. It’s tempting to believe that elaborate activities or curated spaces are the difference between a “good parent” and one who doesn’t care enough.
Your daily ritual just needs to be grounded in connection, presence, and independence. Offering your children a rhythm that they can count on. That is something far more enduring, and not easily captured in a photo. Which is much less flashy, and therefor harder to sell.
Our every day with twin toddlers is not what I had initially envisioned while pregnant, dreaming and prepping for their arrival. I planned for it to be bigger, grander and held together with a tightly packed schedule. I found the day simply doesn’t hold enough hours, and the logistics were more exhausting than expected.
What genuinely surprised me was how much joy lives in the ordinary; sitting and reading a stack of books, watching my twins proudly brush their teeth, and how quickly I shift from counting the minutes till nap time, to counting the minutes till I can be with them again.
Trusting the simplicity of this list is having faith that your children will thrive with less, provided they can count on you to be present in their lives.
It is interesting to notice that where life is simple
and natural and where the children participate in
the adult’s life, they are calm and happy
